So, I am learning a lot about myself lately. Aside from how to do my eye makeup - which is fun, there are other things I am learning. When you have been beat up, drug down, kicked, hammered, spit upon, etc. by life of course not people, you tend to see your true colors.
So, I used to get really upset when everyone was at my house - the neighborhood - getting out toys, playing in my backyard, riding my kid's bikes, etc. Now I see them coming and I'm glad for it- glad that my kids can be outside playing, glad that they are at MY house and not someone elses, glad that I can hear them laughing and know that they are still kids, not bogged down by "the life of the grown up."
My house is similar. I used to clean constantly- and that is used in the literal sense. I still clean, don't get me wrong, but I'll let the bathrooms go for way longer than I used to, I'll only mop the floor if it's horribly sticky (not every other day like I was), and I don't change everyone's sheets once a week. Judge me if you want...they still get changed but it's like every other week now, unless there is an accident. In reality this whole ongoing experience has just forced me to loosen up. I needed to anyway.
Looking for a job makes you do that too- you spend more of your time at home playing with your kids rather than cleaning because you don't know when you last day "home" might be before you start/get a job. ****sigh****
I am not depressed. Well not today anyway, in fact most days are good. I am just constatnly running scenarios through in my mind....what if... what if....what if...
hmmm....
2 comments:
Oh I totally know what you mean! Been there for sure. I still get a little freaky when everyone is at my house...but part of that is because space is severly limited at our house. I do like it when they all play outside though. That is super fun.
You are an amazing person- know it... own it! you are a great wife, mother, housekeeper, et al...
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