You will have significant experiences. I hope that you will write them down and keep record of them, that you will read them from time to time and refresh your memory of those meaningful and significant things. Some may be funny. some may be significant only to you. some of them may be sacred and quietly beautiful. Some may build one upon another until they represent a lifetime of special experience. - President Hinckley
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
I went to the temple yesterday and did 5 inititatory names. Then I had the opportunity to sit in the hall and wait for mom to finish hers. I had about 40 minutes to just watch people....watch a shift change, watch the patrons come and go watch the Lord's work go forward full speed. I loved to just sit. I love the quiet buzz that is happening 24/7 in all the temples and can imagine that it must be that way at the veil all the time as people are passing from this life to the next. AMAZING! Anyway, the simple thought came to me "you are doing what you need to be doing"....this I feel was a direct response to the struggle that all women have....am I a good enough mom....and for me added to that- should I be working should I be doing something else. Heavenly Father was very clear to me..." I am doing what I need to be doing." I am grateful for personal revelation. Grateful for the chance to sit and reflect. Grateful for the temple.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Monday, February 11, 2013
My brother Scott and Sister in Law Brittany were having baby #3. They didn't know the gender and they were due at the beginning of March. 36 weeks and 2 days into the pregnancy Brittany wasn't feeling quite right and decided to go to the ER. Immidiately they were able to make sure the baby had a heartbeat and make sure Brittany was also doing fine. Scott was in the room with the Ultrasound tech when he/she ran out abruptly and said to the other medical staff (Scott heard and read lips at the same time) I can't find the heartbeat, it's gone... Immeidate actions were taking as Brittany was whisked away and prepped for an immediate C-Section while Scott was left to stand waiting and wondering...It was awful. After delivering the baby they began to immediately work on HER , she was a little girl just over 5 pounds and 18.5 inches long (I think) they did chest compressions for several minutes before they realized their efforts were in vain. Scott and Brittany had lost their sweet baby girl. A full term, what looked to be a healthy pregnancy, beautiful baby girl. It was heart wrenching for them and for those of us who are watching them go through this. They named her Olivia Kate Slade.
The entire Slade side of the family was able to fly down for the memorial service held that weekend. It was a quick trip, but I feel like the therapy that comes from being together as families was well received by all of us. It was hard to see such a small casket and watch as Scott and Brittany struggled with their feelings of loss and abandonment. I won't even begin to say I understand or can imagine how they felt and are still feeling....losing a child will create a void that will never be filled and a whole gamat of emotions that I can't even begin to understand.
What I can say, is for me it has given me a new prespective on my kids and their existence. Life is fragile. Life is precious, it is short regardless of how long we get to stay on earth. How noble Olivia must be to have only needed to get her little body and not to be tested. I am sure Heavenly Father needs her on the other side of the veil to help with the work that is being done there. It doesn't make the loss an easier on those still here....but the plan of salvation does make it more bearable to have that understanding.