You will have significant experiences. I hope that you will write them down and keep record of them, that you will read them from time to time and refresh your memory of those meaningful and significant things. Some may be funny. some may be significant only to you. some of them may be sacred and quietly beautiful. Some may build one upon another until they represent a lifetime of special experience. - President Hinckley

Friday, September 14, 2012

Personal Demons

I tend to struggle on a pretty regular basis with what the heck I am supposed to be doing on  a daily basis.  Should I be working, why don't I have more time, am I raising my kids like Heavenly Father wants me to, am I magnifying my calling, do I help other people around me, am I am tune with the spirit, should I be trying to earn an income to help with the financial responsibilities of our household, should I try to lose weight, etc.? 

My mind NEVER stops.  It makes me crazy.  I try try try not to compare to others but I am human and I do.  I have friends who are so knowledgable about the gospel, mine is so simple, I haven't had an earth shattering experience where I KNOW it's true....I just know.  I think it's one of the gifts of the spirit that I have been blessed with.  I just have no doubts.  I have friends who couldn't care less about making extra money for their homes....they are perfectly content to be mom.  I WANT to be that.  I don't know why I stress over all the things that don't matter.  Every time something comes up that offers even a snippet of potential at earning a little extra $ I jump at the opportunity.....the other day I was so stressed over this, that I was on my knees and hoping for help.  In the car later that day, it was on my mind again...should I, shouldn't I, should I, etc.......blech!  I had the thought "Just let your husband take care of you."  Since then (it's been a few days) I have thought about that and it's come to mind again....Travis does a fantastic job of taking care of  us.  I've never wanted for anything, I have everything I need and my kids are happy and healthy.  So, how do I let go of this need to contribute? 

I cycle through sometimes thinking I should be doing more, spending more time with my kids, but then what do I do when I need to do payroll for Travis, or run him here or there for work, the kids end up in front of the computer or the tv......are they being ruined because I don't spend all my time with them?  Our days are packed full of everything good we can offer as parents, here's an example of what our week looks like:

Monday:  Dallin has preschool 9:15-12:15.  Hunter and Gwendalin go to school all day and Tyler gets picked up from kindergarten at noon.  When they get home from the bus (4:30-45ish)  We eat dinner and at 5 Gwendalin goes to soccer practice for an hour and at 5:30 Hunter goes to soccer practice and gets home at 8. FHE.

Tuesday: Dallin doesn't have school.  Other kids are the same.  Gwendalin gets off the bus and goes strait to dance from 5-5:45.

Wednesday:  Everyone same school schedule as Monday.  Same soccer schedule as Monday.  I am volunteering at the school in Tyler's and Gwendalin's classes on Wednesday mornings while Dallin is at preschool.

Thursday: Same with no Dallie preschool.  After school I pick up the kids we go strait to piano at 4 and 4:30 then Hunter goes strait to souts at 5-6.  When he gets home we eat.

Friday:  Same as Tuesday.  and Hunter has soccer from 5:30-8.

I am tired....I don't like to make dinner, it is my nemesis.  Why do other moms love to make dinner, love to can, love to be home and I can't seem to find a love for things at home.  I love to clean, I love to do laundry....but I hate to cook.

Every morning I read my scriptures say my prayers, go work out before the kids get up and then help them along their days....but is it enough ?  and why do I anguish over my personal contributions to the church, family, and society in general?

These are the demons in my head on a daily basis....I struggle, I wrestle with myself in my head....I don't even know if they have made sense on paper and I have only gone into detail with a few....  No worries....I just keep on keeping on hoping that the Lord will have the spirit direct me as long as I stay worthy.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Preschool starts!!

The Dallie boy started preschool a week after the older kids.  He loves loves it! I kinda wish it were every day because he hates when the other kids get on the bus and it's not a school day for him....he gets so lonesome.  But he's a handsome little fella and a good boy @ school.  The "goggle" picture is just when he found some goggles and put them on....I couldn't resist a picture. :)

Good reading...

We went to the library a few weeks ago and Hunter came to check out with a stack full of books....this being one of them.  Adorable.  It's got cute little pictures  and gives advice on how to act around girls, not too macho and not to have your friends act crazy because that doesn't make the girls like you, etc.  It was cute.

Monday, September 3, 2012

Some Funnies....

#1 We are driving in the car and Gwendalin says:

"Hey mom remember in the Olympics when that guy fell on the turtle?"
*"No, uh, I don't remember that....."
"Remember? He was running and fell on the turtle and hurt his foot?"
* mean the hurdle? Yes, I remember that.

#2 We are driving in the car  again and Hunter let's a couple toots off....and says:

"I just farted 3 times, so excuse me, excuse me, excuse me...." and then laughs hysterically
Gwendalin chimes in and says
"Stop it Hunter.  Fragilants are not appropriate."
After Travis and I stopped laughing, we let her know that the correct term was "flatulence."