Confessions of a Neroutic Mind.

Hello, my name is Marie and I have a cleaning problem.

The other night Travis was out at a meeting and it was just me to my thoughts after the kids went to bed. This is a regular occurrence since his job calls for him to be gone many evenings. My routine usually consists of cleaning up from the day - scrubbing the floor, laundry, dishes, counters, etc. Well, it hit me the other night as I was vacuuming up spilled mustard seed (yes an entire bottle - from the dallie man) that I am a freak. I started vacuuming and hearing the sounds of the seeds enter the vacuum made me feel like my carpet was getting super clean...plus I was moving the vacuum super slow as to get every last seed. Anyway, I started looking at the vacuum lines....I love vacuum lines. So- I continued to vacuum (my family room only) for another 20 minutes - literally. Anyone who has seen my family room knows it is not big you could spit from one side to the other. But the lines called me to them. I had the most beautiful vacuum lines you've ever seen, very methodical each in a row with distinct patterns of where I had stopped the unit each time. As I pondered why I did this I realized that I am a freak through and through. Who continues vacuuming just to get the perfect vacuum lines? uh....

Then I recalled that I not only do that, but if there is a scrap of sticky on any part of the wood floor in my house I pull out the mop and the entire thing gets done - sticky spots and more. What has happened to me?

I have thought about this often - how cleaning really rules my life. I don't want it to take over so I have made a conscious effort not to be crazy about it when my kids are awake. I sit with them and read books or watch a cartoon even if there's toys every where and dishes in the sink. For me this is an almost impossible task. I think of what needs to be done while I am spending time with them...BUT...I will give myself credit - cleaning is an outlet for me. I can't enjoy a bath or watch a TV show with husband Travis unless my house is clean, dishes, floors, etc. At least it's a good outlet - I mean it could be that my stress reliever is wasting time on the Internet (which I do that too), or vegging constantly. It makes me feel better to clean.

Now my mom would say that I inherited this neuroses from her. I will tell you that I did not. My mom kept a clean house and we all knew we needed to keep it clean to ensure her good mood - but she didn't constantly mull over it. At least I don't remember that she did...

After this past year: we have been beaten up pretty good (which I don't mind, we've grown from it), we had the Dallie doodle, and I feel like I have lost complete control over my life. I think that's part of the reason I love to clean - I CAN'T stand any mess, I don't go to bed with any mess. My sheets are all changed once a week- laundry is always folded hot so it won't wrinkle and then put away so it's not on my laundry room counter. Anyway, back to my point, cleaning makes me feel like I can accomplish something good, when I can't control any of the other happenings that occur in my life.

So, yes, I should join a group, but I won't. I'll just leave it on the blog for whoever to read. Judge if you will, mock if you will (my husband does- he thinks I clean the floors way too often). ;)
I will give my husband some credit though, after the vacuuming incident when he came in he admired the lines with me and then pointed them out to Hunter in the morning before school. I believe his exact words were "Look at those lines dude, they make a perfect grid, not even I am that talented." Hunter just stood there perplexed.