Lots on the brain...

It's been a while since I posted anything that's really been on my mind and I know that down the road I will wish that I did this more often....but it is what it is.

We are in winter again which translates for us to very slow time of year as far as income goes. We survive it every year but it's not the most fun. Travis has been considering doing something different this year and letting the Lawncare be run by another associate of ours (really good guy). He's just burnt out with the amount of time and physical labor that it requires and the lack of reward when all is said and done. It's crazy how if you look at the big picture it seems completely overwhelming and I am at a loss to figure out my "plan" - it's very discouraging, but at the same time, it's been about 2.5 years and somehow we have made it and we are still happy and healthy and I would consider ourselves very blessed. I've had to learn to just take it one day at a time and then before I realize it the days have turned into 2.5 years and the Lord has taken care of us as He always does.

I used to be (and might be again) one of those moms that didn't want their kids home from school - I dreaded the times when they were off, but during Christmas break I loved having them home - I loved every minute - even Dallin following me around wanting to "hold me" ALL THE TIME. (In his defense he wasn't feeling well and I think he was more needy than usual). When it came time for school to start again I didn't want to get back into the routine again. I consider that a tender mercy because I normally feel like I need my space and don't want school to be out. I'm glad that it was such a good experience to have everyone home. I honestly think that part of it may be that this year I only put up a Christmas tree and the stockings. I can't even begin to describe how much stress that took from me. I wasn't overwhelmed with when I would get it all down or what a mess it would make if the kids got into all the decorations. What a relief! Maybe in a few years I will get my house all decked out again and love it - but for now simple was so much better.

I have realized in the last few months how much I need Sundays. I didn't go last week because almost all of us were sick and in bed and this week I had a hard time just taking one day at a time. I think my spirit needs that nourishment that you can only get from attending your meetings every week just to survive the stresses of every day life.

I've been going to Zumba a few times a week (it's an exercise class that is fun dancing to fun music). I LOVE it! The music makes me happy and I feel so good when I am there and when I finish. Once again - I'm sure it was put in my path by Heavenly Father so that I could cope - or better yet enjoy each day.

I have a friend (or more of an acquaintance) from high school who was diagnosed with cancer 2.5 years ago. She has recently found out that there really is nothing more they can do to try to heal her body. She has 4 kids ( I think the oldes might be 9) - in reading her blog and her insights I have come to appreciate how much the Lord strengthens us during our times of trial. She has her moments of despair - I'm sure, but she even said that there has been an outpouring of the spirit in her home and with her family that she can't even describe. They are at peace with Heavenly Father's plan and realize that He is in control. I appreciated that so much - I can't imagine what her husband and kids must be facing right now and if she passes.

I am a teacher in Relief Society (very scary calling for me). I love having my mom to help me with my lessons because she is so insightful. I hate to admit it but I really didn't want them to go on another mission - I know they need to and the people of Indiana will be so so blessed to have them there, but I am selfish - I like having them here. Anyway, life goes on.

I feel like this year might be the year for us. Travis' parents are on their 4th mission this year too - so we will get "double" blessings by having both sets of parents on missions for this year. I know that the Lord is guiding our lives and I have hope that this year some of the stresses we've had might be lessened - only time will tell.

What a long and drawn out post. If you are still reading - bless your heart.